Week 6 Story: Fish-Eye Lens
*Latest edition posted on my portfolio: https://sites.google.com/view/jamescinocca/home*
Bubble. Bubble. Bubble. The fish of the Ganges river had born silent witness to plenty of unnatural occurrences over the years. With unblinking, unfeeling eyes fashioned to their slender bodies like marbles, the fish saw every conversation on the riverbed, every stone skipped across the surface, and every discarded or lost human possession that found its way into the waters of the Ganges.
Thud. Thud. Thud. The familiar tread of King Shantanu beat the path along the riverbed, trailed by the sound of soft mutterings and the occasional sigh. His habitual walks along the river were custom to the fish, and they paid him no mind.
Gurgle. Swish. Whir. The calm waters of the Ganges began to spiral towards the center of the river, disrupting a few disgruntled fish. Faster and faster the waters swirled, frothing the surface, churning the vegetation along the shore. The center of the spiral glowed with vibrant color. The eyes of the fish bulged out of their heads more than usual.
Crash. Slap. Silence. Dragged out of their daze, the fish took stock of their surroundings. The Ganges had calmed, but the waters suddenly seemed duller, as if the river had fallen asleep. A new human figure was visible just beyond the wavy surface of the water, one which the fish did not recognize. Even their marble eyes could discern the radiance, color, and luminosity of the stranger.
Mumble. Utter. Mutter. Losing interest in the now-finished phenomenon, the fish began to swim away one after the other. Two voices, one deeper and one higher, could be heard over the now quiet movements of the river. As the figures retreated from the riverbed, the fish returned to their silent floating. Time continued to flow like a river.
Splashing. Shrieking. Stillness. One day, a thing forcibly crashed into the river, causing the waters to ripple and the fish to momentarily perk up. This object was foreign to them. It wasn't much larger than the fish themselves, and at first moved about in the water; perhaps it was a fish as well? But, no, the object soon ceased its movements and drifted down to the murky depths of the river. The daily lives of the fish were to be briefly disrupted by these objects seven times.
Shout. Cry. Scream. A commotion on the riverbed caused the fish to roll their marble eyes to the water's surface. Two figures were visible through the hazy waters. The fish observed passively as the larger of the figures made noise at the more colorful one. Suddenly, the brightly colored figure spoke quietly to the other, and then vanished. Perplexed, the fish eyed the remaining figure for a moment before returning to the embrace of the current.
Bibliography:
Mahabharata, Vyasa, http://ouocblog.blogspot.com/2009/07/mahabharata-online-public-domain-edition.html
Bubble. Bubble. Bubble. The fish of the Ganges river had born silent witness to plenty of unnatural occurrences over the years. With unblinking, unfeeling eyes fashioned to their slender bodies like marbles, the fish saw every conversation on the riverbed, every stone skipped across the surface, and every discarded or lost human possession that found its way into the waters of the Ganges.
Thud. Thud. Thud. The familiar tread of King Shantanu beat the path along the riverbed, trailed by the sound of soft mutterings and the occasional sigh. His habitual walks along the river were custom to the fish, and they paid him no mind.
Gurgle. Swish. Whir. The calm waters of the Ganges began to spiral towards the center of the river, disrupting a few disgruntled fish. Faster and faster the waters swirled, frothing the surface, churning the vegetation along the shore. The center of the spiral glowed with vibrant color. The eyes of the fish bulged out of their heads more than usual.
Crash. Slap. Silence. Dragged out of their daze, the fish took stock of their surroundings. The Ganges had calmed, but the waters suddenly seemed duller, as if the river had fallen asleep. A new human figure was visible just beyond the wavy surface of the water, one which the fish did not recognize. Even their marble eyes could discern the radiance, color, and luminosity of the stranger.
Mumble. Utter. Mutter. Losing interest in the now-finished phenomenon, the fish began to swim away one after the other. Two voices, one deeper and one higher, could be heard over the now quiet movements of the river. As the figures retreated from the riverbed, the fish returned to their silent floating. Time continued to flow like a river.
Splashing. Shrieking. Stillness. One day, a thing forcibly crashed into the river, causing the waters to ripple and the fish to momentarily perk up. This object was foreign to them. It wasn't much larger than the fish themselves, and at first moved about in the water; perhaps it was a fish as well? But, no, the object soon ceased its movements and drifted down to the murky depths of the river. The daily lives of the fish were to be briefly disrupted by these objects seven times.
Shout. Cry. Scream. A commotion on the riverbed caused the fish to roll their marble eyes to the water's surface. Two figures were visible through the hazy waters. The fish observed passively as the larger of the figures made noise at the more colorful one. Suddenly, the brightly colored figure spoke quietly to the other, and then vanished. Perplexed, the fish eyed the remaining figure for a moment before returning to the embrace of the current.
The goddess Ganga
Author's Note: For this story, I decided to tell the story of King Shantanu and the goddess Ganga from the perspective of the fish that lived in the Ganges river, since Ganga is a river goddess. Fish wouldn't understand any of the events that happened in this story, so it was kind of fun to try and describe things from the point of view of a fish.
Mahabharata, Vyasa, http://ouocblog.blogspot.com/2009/07/mahabharata-online-public-domain-edition.html
I love your word choice! You add the tiny details that really makes it a full picture, I also love how you added the sounds. Not only did you add sound but I love the repetition of the sounds. You are very talented at world building. It is very impressive! You should really be a story teller. Write a book! You will make a lot of money!!
ReplyDeleteI dig the creative choice of the perspective here. It might take away some of the message or point of the story I guess, but if you're already familiar with the normal telling of the story, the comedy behind this retelling really shines. Nice use of onomatopoeia and clever formatting to add to the feel of the story as well. Might change the title at the top though, mine says Temporary Title?
ReplyDelete